What Do You Care?
by Julian Amsel
Summary: Another cheezy poemfic (yay!). This one was inspired by HRW's "Three". *sigh*


Author's notes: This was inspired by Her Royal Weirdness's fic, "Three". Yes, it's *another* cheezy poemfic. Le sigh.. Anyway, just read the dang thing. ^_^ And read HRW's fic, if you haven't already. &_&

"What do you care?" 

*It is night time in the Digi-world. The Digi-destined have fallen asleep.. except for three. Jyou and Mimi sit in front of the fire, wrapped in each other's arms. From a distance, beneath the shadows of a tree, Koushiro sits typing on his computer. He looks up and watches them for a moment, then looks away, tears in his eyes* 

I hurt inside   
With a pain so intense   
It can't be explained   
To someone who has not felt it. 

*Koushiro shuts off his computer and slowly walks away from the campsite. When he glances back, the fire is nothing more than a small light through the trees. He sighs and takes a knife out of his pocket, staring at it for a moment before placing it to his wrist. He tries to get the courage to slit it, but fails. Narrowing eyes in frustration, he tries again, but still can't force himself to do it. Sighing, he returns to camp* 

A knife rips through my heart   
Spilling blood onto the ground.   
Yet I do not make a sound..   
If only, if only. 

*Once again Koushiro sits beneath the tree, but he does not turn on his computer. Instead he stares at Jyou and Mimi, forcing himself to realize that he will never be in Mimi's place. A sigh escapes his lips and he shakes his head, knowing that if he had spoken sooner he might have had a chance..* 

I watch you there,   
With her at your side.   
Jealousy, it's illogical   
But hey, I'm only human. 

*"I hate you," Koushiro whispers, unable to tear his eyes back. He closes his eyes, holding back the tears which are beginning to form in them. "I hate the both of you."* 

It hurts so much   
To see you with her,   
To watch you kiss her   
And know it'll never be me. 

*Koushiro looks at his computer and suddenly wishes he had never allowed himself to be chained to the machine, that he had never buried his emotions in it. He sighs and looks up at the stars, eyes glistening. Why? he thinks to himself. Why did it have to turn out like this?* 

You think I'm untouchable   
Just a computer, without a soul   
You don't realize that I'm a human too   
And my heart breaks whenever she is with you. 

*It grows later, and the fire burns down low. Eventually, Koushiro is the only one awake, unable to sleep. He stares into the flickering flames, wondering why he is getting so worked up over something with so little importance.* 

But what do you care?   
You have someone with you.   
And you don't have to cry yourself to sleep..   
What do you care?   
You don't know how I feel.   
And you'll never, ever love me..   
So what do you care? 

*Koushiro removes the knife from his pocket again and looks at it, face expressionless. He runs his thumb along the blade, cringing as it cuts into his flesh. Shaking his head, he tosses it over his shoulder into the woods. "It wouldn't work," he whispers. "I can't do it."* 

If I could I'd end it now   
But I've felt that way for years.   
Try as I might, I don't have the courage   
To take my miserable life. 

*Koushiro glances over at Jyou, who is sleeping soundly with Mimi in his arms. He feels jealousy flare up inside him again, and suddenly wishes he had been able to kill himself. "It would have hurt a lot less than what I'm going through right now," he whispers to himself. "They don't care whether I live or die..."* 

But who cares? Not you.   
You don't see me at all.   
I'm just a machine, invisible to you   
Nothing more, nothing less. 

*Tentomon wakes and looks up at Koushiro, blinking. He realizes that there is something wrong... something has been bothering Koushiro for weeks, but he isn't sure what. "Koushiro? What's wrong?"   
Koushiro looks down at him, slightly startled. "Nothing," he says quickly.   
"You're lying." Tentomon glares at him, shaking his head. "Don't do this to me, Koushiro. You know I don't like it when you hide things from me."   
For a moment, Koushiro is silent, thinking. "It's Jyou," he whispers, a tear sliding down his cheek. "That's what's bothering me. It's Jyou."* 

I wish I could just forget this   
But I can't, I can't,   
And it hurts but   
You'll never know. 

*"What? What are you talking about?"   
Koushiro wipes his eyes, unable to look at his Digimon. "He doesn't realize that I have feelings too. They think I'm just.. I don't know... a computer. They don't see that I have emotions, just like they do. If they did, it might not hurt so much... But to know that they don't think of me as a person, that they don't think I could ever love someone too.."* 

I'm not untouchable.   
I have a soul, just like you.   
But you don't realize that I'm human too...   
And that my heart breaks whenever she is with you. 

*Though Koushiro doesn't know it, Jyou isn't asleep. In fact, he is very much awake, and listening to Koushiro talk to Tentomon. He doesn't know, he thinks quickly. He doesn't know..   
"Koushiro.."   
Koushiro's head snaps up at the sound of Jyou's voice. "Jyou? I didn't know you were awake.."   
Jyou slowly stands and walks toward him, nodding. "Well I was. Koushiro.. I heard everything.. why didn't you tell me you feel that way?"   
Koushiro's gaze turns cold, and he looks away. "What do you care?" he askes, clenching his teeth.* 

But what do you care?   
You have someone with you.   
And you don't have to cry yourself to sleep..   
What do you care?   
You don't know how I feel.   
And you'll never, ever love me..   
So what do you care? 

*"What?"   
"I said.. what do you care? You have someone. You don't have a dull ache in your heart twentyfour hours a day. You don't know how I feel.. you never will." Koushiro looks up at him, eyes cold. "So what do you care?"   
"I.."   
"Just leave me alone, Jyou," Koushiro mutters, lowering his head. "Leave me alone. Go back to Mimi. I know you'll never love me... so leave me alone."   
Jyou stares at Koushiro for a moment, eyes wide in disbelief. "All right," he says quietly as he turns around to walk away. "If that's what you want."   
He doesn't know, Jyou thinks to himself. He doesn't know why I do this... what I feel... and now, he'll never know.* 


End file.
